How to choose a sextoy for couples: guide and advice

Thought they were only for solo pleasure? Think again!
Sex toys and other sexual accessories are also making their way into partnered sex (and even group encounters, depending on your preferences!). Want to explore new practices? Here’s how to choose the right sex toy for you!

Why and how should you use a sex toy when you're in a relationship?

Looking to try new things in your relationship? Sex toys are a great way to spice things up, surprise your partner—and yourself!
That said, it’s not always easy to bring up the idea of using sex toys with your partner. Have an open and honest conversation—explain that these accessories can enhance your sexual experience and provide intense sensations for both of you.

If your partner is hesitant, reassure them: even the best sex toy will never replace the intimacy and connection you share. Instead, show that these intimate accessories are a fun and exciting bonus—something to integrate into your erotic play together.

Adult toys make a great gift for couples looking to explore their sexuality in a free and taboo-free way. A lighthearted, liberating addition to your intimate life!

There are many reasons to bring erotic toys into your relationship:

• To discover new sensations and stimulate previously overlooked erogenous zones. Thanks to their vibrating, penetrating, or suction-based functions, sex toys allow you to sexplore gradually and playfully.

• To help with erectile difficulties or libido issues: prostate stimulators can help some men overcome performance concerns, while clitoral stimulators can make it easier for vulva-owners to reach orgasm.

• To improve communication: toys can help break down inhibitions and taboos. They also allow you to learn more about your own pleasure—and your partner's! Talking openly about desires can deepen trust and connection.

Which sex toy(s) should you choose as a couple?

Now that you’ve discussed it, it’s time to choose your toy.
Ask yourselves: What are you hoping to get out of this? What kind of stimulation are you looking for—vibrating, penetrating, smooth, textured?

Our tip: Choose high-quality silicone products. Don’t hesitate to ask a professional for guidance at a sex shop—and why not go together to pick one out? There’s something for everyone, so you’re bound to find a toy that suits your desires and leads to intense pleasure.

Here’s a quick guide to help you explore the options:

A Vibrating Toy

One of the best-sellers for couples—and for good reason! The options are endless: vibrating rings, vibrating eggs, vibrating balls, cock rings, etc.

Many of these toys are designed to be inserted into the vagina and vibrate discreetly. Some are even app-connected, so they can be controlled remotely via a smartphone.

For penis-owners, the vibrating ring is a hit—it stimulates the shaft and testicles at the same time. A true tech gem!

Have you heard of the vibrating pebble?
Our first-ever toy at My Lubie was called Dune—designed to heighten pleasure solo, as a couple, or more (if you're into that!). Its curved shape and soft feel make it the perfect partner to explore every inch of the body with vibrations of pure joy.

A Clitoral Stimulator

This lightweight toy packs a powerful secret for intense female orgasms: air pulse technology.

With several intensity settings, the clitoral stimulator increases blood flow to the clitoris—without any direct contact. Don’t underestimate its power: the results may surprise you.

At My Lubie, our clitoral stimulator is called Aura. Its soft silicone head uses suction and pulsing air to target the clitoris directly.
Just place it over the labia and clitoris—soon you’ll feel intense sensations. No worries, it’s not painful—quite the opposite! It’s user-friendly and accessible to all, whether solo or partnered.

There are also app-connected versions that can be activated via smartphone.

A Penetrative Toy

For those who prefer vaginal stimulation, the vibrator—also known as a dildo or gode in French—is a classic. With its intense vibrations and ergonomic, phallic shape, it’s the perfect pleasure partner for couples.

They come in different sizes, textures, and colors. And don’t forget strap-ons—these too have evolved with the times and growing sexual openness. For example, double-ended dildos are now common—but make sure to discuss it beforehand, especially if you're new to toys of that kind.

Tip: If you're new to sex toys, go for soft silicone. There are also toys made of glass or metal, which offer different sensations depending on their weight and temperature.

Just getting started? Try the iconic Ben Wa balls (or kegel balls)!
They’re discreet and increasingly app-connected, allowing remote vibration. Bonus: they also help train or retrain the pelvic floor muscles. A win-win for pleasure and health!

Hygiene and Consent: Always Essential

No matter which toy(s) you choose, always follow basic hygiene rules: wash your toy before and after use with a proper toy cleaner, and only use water-based lubricant.

And remember: consent is key. Any use of intimate toys must be consensual. Be clear with your partner(s) about your desires and ensure everyone is comfortable with introducing a toy into your sexual routine.

Author: Caroline Bédi